I still believe everyone deserves love. But not everyone is capable of receiving it, and no one else can MAKE them capable of receiving it. It's tempting to believe that if we love someone in the "right" way we will make a difference in their sense of self-esteem. Self-love starts with a leap of faith.
I know this not because I'm an alcoholic--I'm not. I know this because I am codependent, and for the first 32 years of my life I allowed other people to determine my worth. It was safer that way. When they accepted me, I would feel good for awhile--before I started wondering what was wrong with them if they loved someone as worthless as *me*. And when they rejected me I got to say I was right all along. It was one big vicious cycle until I got off the merry-go-round and told myself that my only worry in life was to become someone *I* could love, first and foremost. I spent three years on my own--no romance, no one-night-stands, and for me, no drama-inducing family. Just me and my friends--except not the toxic ones, those I steered clear of. Just the ones who really seemed to like me for who I was and reflected back the things about me that I could embrace about myself--my smarts, my humor, my thoughtfulness.
From there, things really started falling into place.