Oh my goodness PuzzledHeart,
My STBAXH did similar things to me when I got sick or was too busy to enjoy a vacation because I had to bring my work with me. I was always sacrificing my own comfort for his. I never once saw him sacrifice his for mine. He was all words, no action. He said he loved me, he never showed it. He also said that he hated people who never said it but only ever showed it -- why, I wonder? Perhaps because no matter how much I showed it, he did not believe that he deserved my love (or anybody's love). And he was right. He was not deserving of anyone's love. Yet I gave it to him. He got more than he deserved.
Didn't mean to hijack this thread, I'm just astounded by this particular anecdote. It's so similar to my experience.
Originally Posted by
PuzzledHeart 
Smarie, your story reminds me of a weekend that I spent with ex-fiance. We planned to go to a music festival and camp out the weekend. The evening before the festival, I got sick. Fever, cough, sore throat. And still I drove because 1) I was his ride and 2) I knew that he would be terribly disappointed if we didn't go.
So we camped out. It's raining and cold. I spent the evening in the tent. I propped up the backpacks and all our gear underneath me so I could sleep in an upright position because I was coughing so much. He went out with his friends, and spent a majority of it hanging out with a female acquaintance that he hadn't seen in quite a while. I wanted to be cool so I didn't make a fuss. I still wonder about that night. He came in around 2AM. It took me weeks to get over that bug.
Fast forward to dating my now husband. We were supposed to go away on vacation. I got sick before we left. He wanted to cancel it. He insisted on it. He was HORRIFIED that I was even thinking about going. He was concerned I was going to get sicker. His reaction was so completely different from my ex-fiance. He was taking the opportunity to show me that he loved me by doing something that disappointed him (and our wallet). We went anyway, and he got the chicken soup and the cold meds and stayed with me the entire time. Funny enough, I recovered after less than a week. It was such a mind-blowing concept for me to have somebody say that he loved me and actually show it through actions rather than words. I hope you let yourself have that same experience one day, because it's not happening with ABF.
PS. Break a leg, Sparkle!