Thank you for your response Briar. I am well aware that the meds will take sometime before the effects kick in. So I will have to remain patient until such a time. I'm well into 9 days of being on Wellbutrin now. However I'm having a particular tough week, my mind feels like its spiraling down a deep, dark abyss. I feel I can find no relief in anything. I have just recently had to move back in with my parents because I cannot perform at my work place anymore. Nothing seems to make sense anymore. I really hope that this medication makes me feel somewhat more better even if it's in the slightest bit because right now, i'm suffering a great deal. I often find myself being so weakened at times that I barely can even accomplish small tasks. I feel so disorientated most of the time and I can barely comprehend whats going on around me. I can find no sense of pleasure in anything now. The simple pleasures of even watching a movie is not even enjoyable anymore. The only time I look forward to is in the evening, when everything has quietened down and I can go to sleep. Only to wake up the next day and realize that you're still living in this nightmare.
I'm also very distressed about the viewpoint of my sponsor. He seems to think that medication is not the solution, that it will only make it worse and that the brain fog symptoms I am experiencing are being brought upon by myself. Bipolar II is just a made up disorder pharmaceutical companies make money out of. That's his analogy of the whole thing. How unreal is that. He also thinks that I am not following the spiritual steps and his suggestions to the best of my ability. Which I beg to differ, I have. I've been reaching out at the meetings, doing my step work, being of service to others but still I find no relief. Am I really bringing this upon myself? Or am I being too hard on myself?