I understand youe post about oblivion a little more now.
I lost a friend to cancer a few years back. Once I would have obliterated myself, ran away emotionally...but I didn't this time.
I stayed sober. I was there for my friend.
The memories from that year are treasured by me..and I learned a lot about how capablke I was and how much sadness I could actually stand and not buckle from.
My prayers and best wishes go out to you and your friend andagain.
D.