Hi Saturn. I know how you feel. I didn't want to give up drinking either, so I kept doing it until it ruined my life. And if a person keeps going it will. Funny thing is, when I quit drinking and embraced recovery my entire life started to get better little by little. I was no longer shooting myself in the foot all the time. I started to become a better person for myself and for those around me. But a person has to give it a chance and do the work. There simply isn't anything in life anymore that makes me want to drink. I'm now clear headed, responsible, and balanced. And I like that. A lot. I can look in the mirror every morning and be proud of the man I'm becoming. Stick around here and see what happens. You can do it. And you're not alone. =)