Welcome, Sober.
I know it's tempting to think you're not trying hard enough to quit. I used to believe if I controlled the way I drank, I'd be able, eventually, to quit. It never worked! I had to find another way, outside of my own way.
The truth is we suffer from an illness - the disease of alcoholism. It's not within our own power to quit. If it were within our individual power, wouldn't most of us be sober?
You'll need help from outside sources.