Thanks Dropsie and BB. Yes, finances are a usually connected to our deepest wounds. For me, my mother kept her spending a secret from my dad until the cc bill came and then there were blowouts. So I associate money with secrets and chaos. I did use stress over finances as an excuse to drink but it sure seemed to make it all better at the time. I know I will never get a handle on things if I keep drinking.
I have not delved into the 12 steps yet and I'm not sure if I will. I've been to two meetings and I enjoyed them but I'm not sure it's for me. I don't like being told my thoughts or emotions are wrong (diseased thinking). I just want to be able to share and get some understanding and perspective. I've been going to LifeRing and I feel very comfortable there.