Thank you every one
Thank you all.
He did fall very far very fast, and believe me he's had everything you have all said from me. I know it's true and I do really have my gaurd up. I think for the sake of my boys, as I do believe if it was just me we'd be living together already, or I just never would have left. I am just thankful their perception of daddy the hero hasn't actually been affected, again yet. That's what'll kill me, hearing them say something about their dad, or even worse their childhood being ruined to the point they can't wait to leave home. I'm not having our babies lives ruined, mine wasn't all that great, I don't want that for them.
He hasn't made demands, yet, but I am expecting them at some point. He just kind of sits there and takes It, then I feel guilty after.
Every time we have an argument, which is another thing we never argued before, i do pick them and i have been really blowing up, all due to recentment. I have checked his friends bins for alcohol, sad right. And his bag, tool boxes ect. But that's how much I expect it to happen, especially since he lives with his friend that also drinks, although not an alcoholic he still drinks in front of him regularly. Husband is getting a flat of his own which im happy about but i also think that's when it may happen, when he's alone.
I know he's quit for me, although he denies it and says "in some ways a bit but do you think I enjoy being like that, it's for the kids so I can see them, and me so I can be normal." Believe me im not flattered in the slightest, me being flattered would be it never happening in the first place and having my husbsnd back on his pedestal. I'm glad he got proper help though, although the after care is lacking, he and I both see the same counsellor, which we have to pay for privately.
I was surprised he enjoyed the group's with his detox program. He always said it's something he wouldn't do, and although when it ends some ask if they're going to the pub, not joking, he has met others who have helped him.
I miss him so much, I know this is going to take a long time, we are still a couple just not living together, because I need to protect myself and my kids.
The family thing still annoys me, as it is only my dad and step mum, who just generally had it out for him anyway, this just gave the ammunition. They say they don't hate him but the constant put downs say otherwise, I don't expect them to be cheering him on or love him, but not to constantly barate every thing he does. Even giving me money for the kids, gets shot down. My sister is talking to him, and offering support, still telling him me and the kids are always number 1priority to her, which he gets.
I still hate him for doing this to us, I feel daft for wanting to turn back the clock but I'd give anything.