I have friends who are self-employed. They run into non-paying clients too. It doesn't mean that they immediately go on benders and become verbally abusive. And many people face pressure as family providers. They deal with it without turning to alcoholic. Look at yourself. You're already dealing with so much on your plate and is that an excuse for you to become an alcoholic?
For the sake of your family, you need to know what his reaction will be when he hits that next road bump, when things don't go his way. Unfortunately, his previous reactions don't bode well for him.
I would wait a year to see what he does. He can't just get sober just to get back to you. It's flattering, but that's not a solid foundation for his sobriety, for once he's back, there's no reason for him to stay sober.
HE has to want it for himself. You can't do the wanting for him.
I just want to know how I could forgive him, I don't expect him to apologise again and again. To grovel or make it up to me. I just expect him to get support and help with his alcoholism.
On occasion, I have been known to open up a Bible. When Jesus Christ was nailed up on the cross and cried "Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do," he wasn't expecting the entire populace to weep and cry as soon as they received forgiveness. He wasn't expecting to be taken down from the cross alive. The people He wanted to forgive were just going to do whatever the heck they wanted. He wanted to forgive because he felt compassion for those who punished him, not because he was expecting an outcome.
You can feel compassion for your husband, and you can grant forgiveness for the sake of your own heart. But forgiveness doesn't mean that he will stay sober, and forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to take him back.