KH89

Hello, I'm new here, I suppose I need people to talk to, some One who has been in the same boat, my family and friends don't really understand.
It may be a long one.
I found out my husband is an alcoholic, I didn't know although the past year I started to wonder and question his drinking a lot. The last few months of our marriage just confirmed it all, it started when he had his first none paying customer. He is self employed and it really but him hard, emotionally as well as financially. It just escalated from there.
He went missing for a week, I had the police out as he had mentioned a few times that I would be better off with out him, the kids would be better off if he wasn't there ect. Every knick on the door I expected the worst and it drove me mad when he was found safe and well at a friend's house (hadn't seen this guy for 12 years). My family obviously gave as much support they could and i talked to my husband about going to one recovery. He missed his appointment and carried on drinking.
While he is drunk he gets verbal, calling me every name under the sun and this started to happen in front of our kids. So I'd leave him to go get drunk, I didn't bother begging him to come home and is basically already reacted breaking point. He reminded me many times it was his house and his car and I should go, so one day 3 months ago I just did. I ended up in a hostel after sleeping on my friends sofa, he turned up drunk and wrecked our car. It was like he panicked that if gone, he kept saying "I never for a second thought you would." But he'd said it enough times and I just couldn't take anymore.
I tried so hard to support him that I look back and think that I enabled him by 'mothering' him. It was like he was two people, my hubby and then this new person I didn't know.
After 2 weeks he started going to groups and one to one counselling. He detoxed slowly and safely. I attended a session with him by his invite, and he told me everything.
He's been to rehab before, he knew he was an alcholic, he was drinking a hell of a lot more than I thought, he stole money from me and skipped work days that I didn't know about.
He's been sober 3 weeks now, am I wrong in thinking this is still early days? Don't get me wrong I'm really proud and I tell him a lot, the difference is great. He's more like his old self. Kind, supportive and loving. He is seeing the boys a lot and we spend time together to.
I have just moved into a house, and he wants to live with me. I want to live with him to, I miss him so much. But, I'm so scared. I can't let go of all that's happened, I still get so angry when I think about It, I still cry a lot about it and I do find myself resenting him for doing this to us. He doesn't seem to understand why I say no to him moving in.
The man I in all in love with would never call me the things he did, he's never threaten me with no home or to call the police if I drive the car.
What if it happens again? What if he starts drinking again. I don't think I could cope with it, people told me I looked ill, I lost a lot of weight and didn't sleep for days with what happened.
My family don't help. They are brilliant with me but as they've seen me hurt they have demonized him, and I mean very unreasonable. It's like he can't do a thing right at all, he says he misses his wife and kids they go on like he treats me as a possession. Then when I explain he felt pressure to be a provider when we can share the load, they say it's his job. He just can't win. I don't want to loose their support as I do need it but I know they'd never support him again after this, which he needs to maintain a sober life, Right?

I just want to know how I could forgive him, I don't expect him to apologise again and again. To grovel or make it up to me. I just expect him to get support and help with his alcoholism. I expect understanding that it takes time, trust needs to be built up.
How long will it take for me to move on from this? I'm usually a very forgiving person, but it still feels so raw and it's like it happened yesterday at times. Other times I can spend all day with him without me thinking about it.
I think my biggest worry his him slipping back into a bottle and I know I can't stay if that happens, I have our boys to think about, they can't live like that.
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks x