The drunk life is an illusion. As time goes on we see things more clearly. I am in my third year of sobriety and just now realizing how many things that I thought were "normal"....really just were NOT at all. It takes time to thaw out and discover who we really are as human beings...without booze and drugs masking everything. It really is like peeling back the layers of an onion. It's hard, but a worthwhile process. I felt very empty and BLAHHH for a long time after getting sober...who was I? What did I like to do? What values did I have? I had no clue! These things come in time. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you'll get there, I promise.