Thank you all! Your comments mean more to me then I can properly explain. Honestly not sure if I hadn't found SR, I may have already back-slid into the old habit. Working on day 4 sober. Saturday morning at work doing what I typically do. No AV for me during the day. It usually begins working on me towards the evening. A very hard thing to accept is that I've done this to myself. That I've cultivated my drinking. Thirty plus years of seeking the highest quality and finest in all varieties of alcohol. What an astonishingly arrogant thing to do. Truth is, my last bender was very inexpensive vodka. I can still remember pouring that last exact amount. Telling myself; "yep that will do it" the rest until I woke up is a blur. I know I cannot win this battle on my own.