Newlife.....it might take some of the sting out of your anger and feelings of rejection if you could realize that the alcoholic is not drinking AT you....they are just doing what every alcoholic does...they drink due to a powerful compulsion to do so....That is what they do.
They don't do it because of you. It is not personal.
They might blame you...in fact, the alcoholic needs to blame someone/anything else...because, it wouldn't be logical to blame themselves. If they did..they would have to quit drinking, wouldn't they?
That sounds like a death sentence to the alcoholic....because that is how they cope with living. The alcoholic has to drink to even feel "normal"....and, when they start to drink...they can't stop.
to tell an alcoholic to stop drinking forever...is like asking a fish to give up water.
The idea of that strikes profound fear and anxiety in the alcoholic!
It is as hard for the alcoholic to contemplate going sober, as it is for the spouse to leave the alcoholic (before they are ready).
The alcoholic has a battle going on in their brain 24/7. Even when they don't show it to others. A battle between the "alcoholic voice" and their real self. It never really stops! Total abstainence through working a strong program is the only thing that will put the voice into remission....not cured...but, in remission.
Any one and anything that comes between the alcoholic and their ability to drink freely becomes the ENEMY....even if that thing is a loved one. They don't necessarily hate the loved one...they just need their alcohol.
It is not a personal thing toward the loved one.
Nevertheless, Newlife...you still have to do what you need to do to save yourself and your child.....