[QUOTE=dandylion;6584432]Smile.....you didn't say whether he is attending AA, or not.....
You said that he is attending group counseling and on antidepressants. (I assume the group sessions are for depression and not specifically for alcoholism?).....
While it is not your job to direct his recovery process....I happen to think that it is good for you to really be well educated about alcoholism. That is so that you know the reality of what you are up against.
there is a big difference between just being sober (not drinking) and, being in recovery from alcoholism. Recovery involves making changes from the inside...(that is where the 12 steps come in)....it involves changes in thinking...which leads to changes in feelings...which leads to changes in attitude...which leads to changes in behavior.....Of course, this requires a lot of motivation and time and really dedicated work...It has to be placed as top priority in his life (for him).
Nobody can force him or make him do it....
I dare say that you have never fully known the real, sober him. He has been drinking since you knew him. He may not even be able to remember the "real" him...before the alcohol.
Once the person gets sober (completely puts the bottle down) and, then begins working on their recovery process...it takes at least, one to two years to begin to know the real, authentic self, again......
***I think that it is great that he is going to the group meetings and is taking his anti-depressants! I am just thinking that he may need to specifically address the alcoholism.
The group is for addiction recovery, once per week. He went once to AA but didn't seem interested. Pretty much like many spouses I would think I struggle with his choices vs addiction. So I try to remember the 3cs and work on me, control my emotions. I've got to a better place too but doesn't sound like a great way to live. Pretty hard not to take it personally sometimes even though I know not my fault. Thx for listening.