I cant read all your comments but thanks, I have tried all me life to be the people pleaser, didn't want to be that person,just ended up there, I have never hurt anyone in my life apart from meself, when people say kids etc, I did everthing in my power not to hurt my kids, I just always chose to hurt myself, I protected my kids with all my being, some dont understand, when I got drunk they were at friends, when I got mad they were at friends, not always did I protect them but I did my best, to make sure I wasn't a total **** up, they are and will always be my world