This reminds me of something Abf said to me the other day after a terrible onslaught of verbal abuse. He said, "I am sorry for all the hurtful things I said to you. It's just because I love you so much."
I think that in his own way, he does love me, but I do not think he is capable of true love that protects, nurtures, grows, and cares for. Not at this time while he is in active addiction. Love doesn't cheat or lie or hurt or abuse. Addicts in active addiction however, do. Like I said, I think in his heart he has what to him feels like real love for me, and I do believe he feels love as other alcoholics do, but I do not believe the addiction allows for its fruition. For its practice of what we know love to be (more than a feeling but a series of actions)