Originally Posted by
Sasha4 
I have had counselling for years and years.
Not recently though.
My family use the 'I don't remember' as a way of dealing with my feelings.
They never change though.
The unfair treatment between me and my sister continues. It never changes.
I thought that they all had really bad memories.
Now I think they may use that as a manipulative strategy.
Instead of remembering or saying sorry, they deny all knowledge.
Unfortunately i have been 'blessed/cursed' with the most amazing memory.
I remember everything. Every cruel thing they did.
We did not speak for almost a year a about 3 years ago.
They promised they would change their ways and I agreed to resume contact.
But it has not lasted. Gradually their behaviour and actions have gone back to how it was.
They are fickle.
Then they use their advancing age as a means to make me feel bad as I have argued with them.
I think I need to find hard evidence to confront them with.
I just feel consumed by it all.
What do I do?
I don't see the point anymore.
Hi Sasha
I can only share my experience. For years I wanted to confront my family, with evidence about the way I'd been singled out for bad treatment - but after I got sober I realized that they are never going to see things the way I do - even if I had hard incontrovertible evidence which I don't.
They genuinely believe that all us kids got the same treatment and that they did nothing wrong, or at least nothing worse than other parents.
I struggled with this for years because part of my residual anger was directed at someday somehow making them pay.
I finally realised that I had a good life, I had people who loved me, and I was happy and content - not because of my upbringing, but in spite of it.
I even came to forgive them because they truly had no idea what they were doing.
I've probably mentioned The Shack before - it's a great story about what forgiveness means, and the one thing I took with me from that book is it's hard to move on with your hands around someone else neck.
I'm really glad I let go
D