Sasha, I can only imagine what you are going through.
I have had some pretty horrible dealings myself this year and the past. I don't know all of what you are going through, but your feelings echo deep inside me.
If you can, take some time to just have down time like dealing with a physical illness.
For me, I had to find chunks of time to fall apart, and to put myself back together a bit, a little bit at a time here and there.
Can you find some space for a breather? Who can you lean on in real time?
Can't express any better other than that what has already been said- we are your family too and are here for you at all times.
