When I was active in my own addiction I had no interest at all in anybody's love. I wanted their money, home, ride, clothes, food, and anything else I could take for myself. I would explore and harass people until I found their weak spot and then exploit it. Most of the time it was some cute young thing at the local *****-tonk who needed somebody to rescue. I became very practiced at being rescue-able. Oh yes, love? Sure, I will love you if you enable me, or regale you with some long tale of woe and miserable childhood... or whatever works.
Desert Eyes, you describe the thinking of an active alcoholic perfectly. I was the same when I drank. As Wilson points out we are selfish, self-centered in the extreme, have enormous egos coupled with low self esteem. My God, higher power and great love of my life was alcohol.
So how can we best protect ourselves from the chaos, stress, and anxiety of active addiction? Some of us have spent years being affected by the addiction of our loved ones--staying involved because we don't think they could possibly be manipulative if they truly love us.
An active alcoholic is incapable of love.....you are projecting feelings that don't exist. I see so many posts of people shocked when they leave an alcoholic, who quickly finds someone else. Alcoholics look for enablers and quickly replace one for another.