Savana
I can only speak from my own experience. It has been a year since my ex boyfriend went into treatment. He just past one year of sobriety. For that, I am thankful. We are not together, and I have been lucky enough to have met a wonderful man recently who is very supportive.
Yet, a year later, I am reliving every piece of the pain and hell that I went through for 4 years: the fighting, the days I came home to a dark house and a drunken man in the middle of the day, the enabling - god, the enabling, crying alone, the seizure that should have scared him, but didn't, the final hospital visit, the detox, recovery, and the continual phone calls. I don't usually answer - we play the message game - but his messages always have a tone, I can still hear the blame in his voice, no matter how well he's doing.
I figured out that I am waiting for the apology that will never come. And I'm waiting for him to tell me it's okay to go on with my life, which will also never come. When I can accept those 2 truths, my own recovery will be complete. Or maybe truly starting.
Savana, I can only echo what everyone else says. Life will go on; you will have good days and not so good days. Forgive yourself. And love yourself.