Glad you are posting!
Yes, learning how to change or refocus our thoughts is really important. One thing my fiance (also in recovery) and I talk about often is what we call "flipping it." Something's bothering me- how do I flip it around somehow to better deal? It could be something like....my mom's [ ] behavior that I would have handled very poorly when drinking- the flip of that could be that I focus on being grateful for the time I have with her over a nice dinner [rather than stewing over whatever she was doing or saying that bothered me]. It is freeing when we can do this.
I have found that if we try, we can flip most anything and also look at WHY we are feeling negative/bad/etc and focusing on finding a solution to that instead of living in whatever problem is on hand. It gets easier to do this- along with so many other things- the longer we are sober. Also, less things bother me in the first place, and when they do, they are more quickly "righted."
Keep going!