Wonderful thread, if I may toss in my .02.
Originally Posted by
Seren 
...I hope some of our double-triple winners will chime in here. ....
That would be me. ACA, al-anon, AA, diabetic, etc. etc. I qualify one way or another.
Originally Posted by
Seren ... "It's a disease, not a choice".....
The problem here is that the term "disease" is used differently by different groups of peeps for different purposes. The medical community, and the treatment centers, use the work "disease" to bill the insurance company. That is an entirely different concept that us lay persons use when talking about cancer, diabetes, etc.
I am going to use the word that was in use before the treatment centers came into being. The word used in the original "Big Book" of AA. That word was "alergy". That book went to great lengths to compare the chemical response that the human body has to alcohol against that of an alergy, such as an alergy to peanuts.
As a result of my genes, which gave me a messed up pancreas, I have a "disease" called "diabetes". As a diabetic I am alergic to sugar. I can have some very small amounts of it, if I am very careful to monitor my blood glucose, food intake, activity level, etc. I was born with these genes, I have no "choice"" in the matter.
Suppose I decide to binge on cheese-cake (one of my deepest character defects, I just crave cheese-cake 24hrs a day) and then go off and fly an airplane. My blood glucose will crash ( which is called "insulin shock"), the airplane will crash, and I will likely kill some people on the ground.
Then when they come to arrest me I will whine about diabetes being a "disease".
Having the genes is the disease, I have no choice there. Having the cheese cake is the choice.
Change the "diabetes" for "alcolism / addiction" and I think my perspective will make sense.
Originally Posted by
Seren ...they don't feel loved by their family members because ....
When I was active in my own addiction I had no interest at all in anybody's love. I wanted their money, home, ride, clothes, food, and anything else I could take for myself. I would explore and harass people until I found their weak spot and then exploit it. Most of the time it was some cute young thing at the local *****-tonk who needed somebody to rescue. I became very practiced at being rescue-able. Oh yes, love? Sure, I will love you if you enable me, or regale you with some long tale of woe and miserable childhood... or whatever works.
Originally Posted by
Seren ... So how do you respond to that 'accusation' of kicking someone when they are down?....
Nobody ever kicked me when I was down. I was never down. I was just horribly hung over, but if the words "don't kick me when I'm down" will get me another night on your couch I can run with that act. And if not then I'll just wander on down to that *****-tonk I mentioned earlier and find somebody who has a couch vacancy.
Mike
