"Can you help them without changing them?"
Do you really not want them to change? I wanted change from my axh; to be kind, thoughtful, helpful, present, respectful, loving, and everything else a "normal" husband was. I waited 34 years and it never happened for me.
She doesn't have an issue with her drinking, you do. So it's not her issue to fix, it is yours.
We only have control over ourselves, you can change, and that's all that matters. Hugs my friend, we all get it.