when she has had just 1 or 2 drinks, she basically becomes a different person. A very mean-spirited, impatient, controlling person, which puts a lot of strain on our relationship, and I am concerned that it may harm her relationship with our child (I am not worried about other dangers to our child - that's not her).
Regardless of her drinking, I believe she is a great mother, and I completely trust my wife around our child. I know she would never place our child in danger, and I am unaware of any time that she has been drinking around them in an uncontrolled manner (sure, she's had a wine at lunch, etc).
Other than emotional danger, what kind of danger would you be waiting to witness before putting the child’s needs and best interest first before the alcoholics?
I would check out al-anon and read as much as you can about alcoholism and it's progression as well as addict behaviors and the affect alcoholism has on the entire family, children and all. It's often our own denial on how bad it is affecting the children.