Welcome, Ruth (and COY) - we're so glad to meet you.
I drank 30 yrs. & never imagined my life without it. Ruth, at 29 I still didn't acknowledge my problem - so I continued trying to use willpower to 'control' my drinking - which never worked once. Much later in life, I found myself drinking every day, completely dependent on it. This doesn't have to happen to you - I'm so glad you've recognized the problem and faced it. I hope you'll stay with us - you're in good company & we all understand.