Shutterbug1

My question is, how much more of yourself are you willing to give up?

Your hope? self-respect? your physical and mental health? chance for happiness? sense of safety? a calm home?
I lost all of these after going back.

We can give endlessly into a bottomless pit, and empty ourselves out, but it helps nothing in the end. We never get the reward we are seeking and we have extinguished ourselves along the way.

I stayed with my ex for 10 years. I had a chance to leave about a year in...but I went back and it was one of the worst, most detrimental mistakes of my life. And guess what? It was all futile.

Towards the end, a good friend kept telling me to look at how badly I had been affected and to imagine another 10 years. And then another 10. When I played it out in my mind, it was like a reality check, I was terrified at what I saw.

I know you have a lot to overcome, and you may not believe you are strong enough, but you are. You CAN put yourself first and create a happier life for yourself, a life you truly enjoy, a life that makes you feel well. Find other people who are positive and actively working on healing, learn from them. Focus inward, keep healing and getting stronger. You can do this. I am rooting for you.