I'm glad you saw the Doc
Rainy, this is not the best things are gonna get - you will experience joy, laughter and good times again.
For some of us, that takes a little time - I'd dug a deep hole...I had many things to face...I was convinced my life would be endless gray and I'd never find joy again - but I did.
Have faith. Me and the others here have no reason to lie to you
Keep climbing up - you'll feel the sun again - you can do this
D