Seren- I appreciate your kind words. I know all of you mean well. Thank goodness you and Ann say it with less judgement and disdain.
I don't think it matters how long someone is dealing with this. My AS was incarcerated at least 2 times since I first posted, once for a year, another time was sentenced to drug court, and most recently sentenced to an inpatient program. Some of the 7 years he has also been in rehab or jail. At other times he has worked, tried methadone treatment and most recently suboxone.
Call me crazy, but I do feel as long as he has been taking steps toward recovery and wellness, I will work with him as far as possible.
I have also sent him to the streets several times.
No, I am not willing to completely shut the door on him. I do not believe it would help him at this point. I am coming to a natural point of being done with helping now. He is depressed and anxious and has tried to deliberately overdose this year at least one of the occasions. I cannot be so hardened to the thought of losing my son altogether yet.
He is trying, maybe not hard enough yet, especially according to people's standards here. I know what I have to face up to and I know I cannot save him. Ultimately he must. I am struggling with that. I'm glad you recognize people must come to understandings on their own time.
Sometimes I can't stand this forum since so many appear judgmental. thank you to you and Ann for a softer way. I know Anvilhead is always direct,, hence her name. But it doesn't want me want to come back her again. I know the truth isnt always pretty and I do have to face up to things and I can't delude myself into getting too hopeful when he is taking the right steps to help himself.
Thanks for letting me vent.