Thank you everyone for sharing.
For me it was cumulative too. Things like:
-- Giving myself a black eye running into a door while trying to sneak into bed after drinking at home alone.
-- Waking up on the floor of my closet at like 4 am with vomit on the carpet. (Thankfully my husband didn't find me.)
-- Sneaking out to drive to a store super late to buy wine while my family slept at home or in hotels on trips.
-- Feeling horrid every single morning.
-- Not remembering the next day a very important heart to heart conversation with one of my teenagers and the disappointment in her eyes.
-- Looking down an unable to see my toes over my bloated stomach, when I'd always been slim and trim before.
On and on. It was exhausting and shameful. I didn't want to live that way anymore.