How normal is normal?
I spoke to a friend yesterday who has just got back from a week long holiday in Spain. She told me she got tonsillitis whilst she was there and had to see a doctor and get a shot of antibiotics. She said it hurt her throat every time she drank alcohol but obviously she did drink alcohol every day because, "I was on holiday so of course I drank. It just hurt my throat so I swallowed every mouthful quickly."
This friend is someone I would class as a normal drinker. But I'm beginning to wonder just how normal that kind of drinking is. Now that I've got some sober time, I'm beginning to wonder about quite a few "normal" drinkers. One of my sisters told me recently that she blacks out regularly after drinking wine but she's read that this is due to hormonal changes. When I suggested it's more likely to be due to the wine, she got very defensive and questioned how I could comment on anyone else's drinking.
And that's the thing. I don't have any right to comment on the drinking habits of others and I don't want to. I'm not a judgmental person. I know that when I was drinking I would always be the drunkest person on any given night out. But now I'm not that person anymore, I can't help but notice other drinkers because they're everywhere. All my friends and family of my generation, we grew up binge drinking. It was part of our culture. Our identity. When I was drinking I thought of drinkers in 2 categories - drinkers like me and normal drinkers. Now I'm sober I'm realising there's a normal drinking spectrum and a lot of the people I love are drinking at the dangerous end of that spectrum. And I'm not talking about 1 or 2 people, I'm talking about maybe 50% of everyone I know.
So what do I do? If I start expressing concerns about someone's drinking I am called a hypocrit. If I go on and on about the awesomeness of sobriety, I am called an insufferable bore (or less nice words to that effect). I feel like I've discovered this amazing secret - life is better, more fun and way more interesting without alcohol - but most of the people I want to tell, they don't want to know.
Maybe I'm trying to run before I can walk. Maybe I just need to remain focused on my sobriety and that continued sobriety will help me know what to do. I remember how much I hated it when anyone tried to talk to me about my drinking so I know confronting someone about their drinking is not the way to go. I also know that I love my sister very much and I'm finding it difficult to keep ignoring all the red flags. I want her to experience the peaceful calm of sobriety but I don't know how to break through decades of brain washing. Any advice would be gratefully received. Thank you xx