I appreciate your input and it is helpful. I have let him go many times, but I guess not for good. Didn't bail him out this last time, have kicked him out before even though he was homeless. and more. This time when I did let him come back home it was only for a few weeks at most and then he had to go and seek help/treatment.
This past year he has had 4 overdoses where 911 had to be called and he was hospitalized, almost dying twice. The fear of him dying against his efforts at rehab and taking suboxone this year have contributed to allowing him back at all. He is depressed. I have reached out for help when he was hospitalized but all they do is give one a list of places to call. I've asked them to keep him on a hold, but they wouldn't.
He has asked for help too. He may not be fully committed yet and that's where the problem is.
My goal is not to get him out of my life forever, even tho I am not tolerating as much as before. Maybe it's more cut an dry for some here. I am getting stronger and firmer.
It's not about how long it takes someone to shut the door completely on their addicted child....but yes i am getting closer to doing that.