Hi sweetichick
I agree with everyone else that this guys shouldn't be in your life - but I think thats a side issue to the real problem of you continuing to drink when you know what happens to you when you do.
I think, whatever you're doing for your recovery now, you need to do more.
You already know the choices. AA or some other group...outpatient or inpatient rehab... seeing your Dr for medication help....even posting more regularly and consistently here could help.
sometimes try as hard as we may, we need other peoples help to get sober and to stay that way.
I think you're at that point - you either have to accept that or prove me wrong by staying sober yourself, no matter what.
D