Feel like I have lost it
I had a good sobriety starting. Problem is my best friend is very judgemental and puts me down all the time. Last night I was meant to meet my girlfriend's and had to wait in the pub half an hour. Of course I bought a drink. That just set me off and I couldn't afford another so I eventually drove home and bought 2 bottles of wine. I was having massive panic attacks after waiting. Of course today I am drinking. My friend who is a boy came over last night and abused the hell out of me for sending him a message about what happened. He was really horrible and scary. He reckoned I would upset his wife after the whole week of him asking to move in with me. I know I couldn't live with him and don't want to break up a marriage. I'm just so down and can't seem to move forward. I had good sobriety and now I have ruined it. Has anyone else had this experience of friends just putting them down so much that I feel like a piece of poo? Maybe he is driving my drinking. Not sure. I had problem before I met him. I don't know what happened with my girlfriend s not showing up.