Hey - I totally understand .... Things seem so bad ... But they are not!
You can get back to the "clean" you... Like the 7 months you just had!
Get back to clean you... Training and running.
Please understand.. it only takes a "Glimmer" of positiveness and toughness. To get back to the place your were .. during the 7 months you were clean and sober.
THINK about it... But don't try to think too far ahead.
Think about getting through today (miserable as it will be). Get a huge jug of water... Keep your computer tablet or phone on SR. Take it one minute, hour at a time.
POST here and let's get through it..
The truth.... By Saturday or Sunday you will be over the worst.
You know, people want to help those who help themselves. Show yourself ... You can put all the BS behind. Yesterday don't matter .... It's only now. Today. THis minute.... Forget about the BS. It's over now.