Originally Posted by AnvilheadII

no alcohol in the house is NOT a boundary - it's a RULE.

a boundary would be - i will not share my home with someone who drinks to excess, therefore if you come home drunk/bring alcohol into the home and drink/etc I WILL...........fill in the blank.

that might be:

ask you to leave. if you do NOT leave, i will.......fill in the blank.

you state the behavior that is unacceptable TO YOU, and then you state what YOU will do if that behavior is still presented.

he already knows how you feel about his drinking. so that isn't new news. he is unwilling or unable to stop drinking permanently. that may or may not change - ever. so you have to decide what YOU are going to do - not what you are going to make HIM do.

see the difference?