Paatman.....when you married "for life"......I have a feeling that this is not what you had in mind.......
In a contract, both parties are expected to hold up their end of the bargain...
Sounds like your children are suffering in all of this....
This actually does more damage to the kids than the adults....it impacts their lives for the rest of time....
I know it is hard to make changes....but, that doesn't mean that it is not doable....
There are, literally. thousands of real life stories on this forum....people who have gone through the same thing as you are facing....
If they can do what ever is necessary to return peace to their lives....you absolutely can, too....
Are you currently getting any kind of help and support for yourself?
This is not a path that you should have to walk alone....