In your OP nine days ago you say:
Originally Posted by Wildwood
...drinking most of my adult life, around 25 years. knew for a long time i was in trouble but finally managed to quit early 2014. stayed quit for over 2 years but for the last 6 months was heading for [planning to drink] and finally did relapse [and am now drinking again].
i have been drinking with days off since around this time last year and keep tripping at [choosing to decide against] the finality of 'never' and forever'.
reading around these boards, i had used a baby type of AVRT. and now im ready to do it again.
i have read this website, the RR website, ordered the book and made my BP last night.
I added the red words to focus on reality.
Well, not surprisingly, it appears the "baby type of AVRT" and its baby BP isn't working this second time either. In fact it's been reduced from two years to at most nine days. As you state today:
Originally Posted by
Wildwood 
... i havent quit yet. ...
i have the RR book and am reading it carefully, with notes and bookmarks. clever me eh? [not if you're drinking] reading it is making the AV go nuts, and i have trouble ultimately separating it. i suppose awarnes of that is a start. i can see it in myself and others but that sometimes i believe i am agreeing with it and saying 'when i finish the book' pure AV.
One day down the road when you wake up NOT under the influence, THEN is the time to start over reading "Rational Recovery, The New Cure..."
AVRT cannot be learned under the influence of alcohol/drugs.