thanks guys. yes woke up utterly glad I went to bed when I did, even if I was in a bad bad mood last night! Feeling its unfair etc. I wont ask my husband not to drink because my problem is not his. People around me are going to drink and always will, if I cant get used to that and refuse, I'm going to be stuck indoors on my own a very long time. Life has to go on.
HIs beer in the fridge is something I can deal with, it just made me feel how I remember at the beginning .....vulnerable. If that was wine, would I have managed to resist it...the fact that I asked myself that over and over and again this morning, had me scared, because I don't know. But I'm new to doing recovery properly, and perhaps this is entirely normal to have times when you feel more weak than others and then you learn skills to overcome those times. I guess made me feel I was failing, but thoughts are not failure, I did not give in. I recognised the AV, I today feel a little stronger, but still a bit shaken. This takes time and patience, I need to remind myself of that.