Thanks Lexie. That makes sense. I can definitely see ex taking the position that he's being persecuted because of his gender identity and is the victim of discrimination, and making that into the central issue, rather than his drinking. I'll ignore the gender transition thing in custody discussions unless ex brings it up.
I don't know what he's told Kid - and I'm reluctant to just open a conversation with her with "so, I see your dad's wearing makeup now, wanna talk about it?". I'm guessing that for a twelve-year-old, talking about anything related to a parent's sexuality or gender would just be too awkward for words.