Originally Posted by Berrybean

I tried (and failed) to get to Lots of meetings before I managed to get in the door of my first one. I'm In the UK there are phone and email hotlines and the difference for me came after contacting AA directly through email and exchanging a few messages with an internet responder. There are also local phone numbers in many areas, and they mean that people can arrange to have someone (same gender) meet them somewhere neutral outside the meeting so they don't have to walk in alone. It can make just that little bit of difference when you are full of anxiety.

Lots of meetings (the ones I go to) tend to have greeters on the door as well, and if they see someone looking hesitant they can discreetly ask if that person in looking for the meeting, and if they are they will bring them in and help them get settled and calm before the meeting starts.

Most folk tend to arrive at their first meeting very full of anxiety. Some barely able to speak. Often on the verge or tears or crying. I blubbed through most of my first and second meetings, and could barely hold my coffee without spilling it because my hand was shaking so much. Mostly oyt of relief because what people were saying resonated so much with me - finally, after decades thinking no one could possibly underderstand how I feel and experience the world and life and relationships, suddenly a whole room of them comes along! And even better, they seem to have found a solution! Since then I have seen countless others in the same states. But now the group is my safe space where I can just sit and listen if I want to , or share how I really think or feel without fear of judgement. I grew up feeling that I never quite fitted in. Was never quite 'enough' somehow. When I am with my AA clan there is no not-enoughness, and I feel close to even those I'm not so keen on, because we understand each other.

I hope you do manage to get to your first meeting soon. That procrastination is itself, in my experience, anxiety inducing.


Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB