Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
they may say they can't do this without you.
they can't LIVE without you.
that you mean everything.
they've never met anyone like you, they know you are the one.
they know they need to moderate their drinking, that's all.
on and on and on. talk talk talk.
AnvilheadII - thank you so much for this. Its really struck a cord. There has been a lot of 'you are perfect' 'I think I might love you' etc since he started bingeing. Obviously they mean very little from someone under the influence and I haven't taken them seriously.
I think what my personal struggle here is that I can feel the codependent part of me screaming to be let out, to 'fix' and to get all the nourishing self-worth from being in this relationship. Meanwhile 2 years of therapy has introduced a voice that is being pretty stern about not going any further into this for the sake of my own survival. I am ashamed to say my core wants 'therapy voice' to FO and let me have this. I know I can't and I won't continue, but it feels like a battle of wills right now and its paralysing. All this whilst my therapist is out of town for a month!
Each day since it began though I have been hardening my resolve. I've moved though 'this is a wobble, no biggie' to 'okay, lets get him through this, then 'get support and it'll be okay' to 'I'm scared, what would my future look like with this guy' to 'you cannot fall any deeper into this, you have to get out'. I just need to do jump the last hurdle but I'm not going to beat myself up for not running at it full speed, I'm battling some ingrained core beliefs to do it, its okay if I jog.
Thank you for your advice, its given me a good idea of what to expect back and what the pitfalls are.