have you ever successfully extricated yourself from a telemarketer call? you know where you didn't buy light bulbs, roof gutters, sponsor the policemen's ball or a gym membership? did you notice that the longer you kept TALKING, the longer they kept up their sales pitch? and that no matter what reason you gave, they would come back with a response? (oh it's your mother's funeral tomorrow, well even better reason that we close the deal now, don't you think? one less thing to worry about!). and finally about the only thing left to do is one or two things:
1) tell'em to FOAD
and/or
2) hang up
trying to leave a short term relationship with an alcoholic can be a lot like that. THEY don't want YOU to be the one who leaves, because it threatens to expose the drinking problem - the one that doesn't exist. if they can get YOU to come BACK, then Wah Lah, there is no problem. and they will pull out all the stops to get you to concede, give in, give them another chance.
they will make the Alcoholic Oath - variations not withstanding:
I'm Sorry
Please Forgive Me
It Will Never Happen Again
this may or may not include a hand raised for a solemn oath.
there may be promises of all sorts - they will get better, they will get help, they will, they will, they will...........they will not yet have actually DONE anything, i mean no reason to RUSH things.
they may say they can't do this without you.
they can't LIVE without you.
that you mean everything.
they've never met anyone like you, they know you are the one.
they know they need to moderate their drinking, that's all.
on and on and on. talk talk talk.
and none of it will matter. not once they get you to come back.
see you aren't the first one- you are just the next one.