Sim we both seem to be mega busy at the minute. In one way it's great as it's an automatic deterred for me not to drink. I absolutely never do when my family are here. Back in the bad days it was the only time I was really sober. A bit like an enforced rehab in a way. Problem with that was I was always craving and moody when I saw them and so never really enjoyed family time like I should have. Best thing I can do now is be grateful for the company and the help with childcare and the little jump start it will give me in my sobriety. I'll be about 18 days in by the time everyone goes and I'll be ready to decide on a mini plan for the rest of the summer. That sounds doable.
Still mulling over why I drank. Not in a totally negative way but trying to work out why that day was any different to any other. Yes the situation with my boyfriend was really difficult (us being apart) but I had coped for 6 days of that. I think I need to be more realistic about life in general. Things won't be cozy and steady just for me. A difficult situation isn't an excuse to drink. It simply doesn't help. I saw very clearly the difference between waking up sober and free and waking up feeling rough as dog poo and feeling unable to do anything worthwhile. I am pleased however that the old AV isn't chipping in about how I "got away with it" . I simply dont entertain that kind of thinking. Truth is I messed up and I'm genuinely very relieved it didn't go on any longer. I dont like getting drunk. I dont like being hungover. I dont like wasting my time to that poison. I dont like feeling bad about myself.
So maybe I've learned something or at least confirmed what I thought I knew.
Off for a couple of days to the seaside with my parents and the girls. Should be a nice little break (yes another one!) and plenty of memories to be made.....
Lots of love to you all ❤❤❤