Well, I am learning as I go.
I am planning on keeping ALL social invitations off the table for at least one month now, possibly two.
This time I wanted badly to cancel BOTH events. BELIEVE ME.
But... There is also damage control.
My boyfriend is having to put up with his girlfriend being sober, and he is being a total CHAMP with my mood swings and my need to be really selfish right now.
He doesnt quite understand because he's never encountered this lifestyle change before with anyone close to him, and he himself is not an addict.
But ... He is trying.
We are both trying.
I am trying to be a good enough communicator through this so he CAN understand the space I need.
He is trying to not push me into situations I am feeling really vulnerable about.
But... He really doesnt totally get how HUGE this is.... Becoming sober.
I think he, like millions of others unfamiliar with recovery, doesnt quite "get" why I am not suddenly all better because I am not hungover.
"youre not hungover. You should be totally fine now!" (he doesnt say THAT, but I am pretty sure thats how his mind usually works)
I love him in my life. I do not want this relationship to go south. I want to show effort.
I had a very hard decision to make about the wedding and being around his family the day after.
Old me would have canceled, not to stay sober, but to get away from my social anxiety. I would have disappointed my SO and I would have been selfish for the wrong reasons.
I know its not ideal the way I did it.
I plan on not doing this again for a long time.
Today I am not hungover.
Ive read these posts to my SO and the more I do that, the more he seems to understand how to navigate alongside me.