Originally Posted by notgonnastoptry

Ugh. This reminds me of when I was pregnant and my husband and I used to go out with others to a bar in the city where margarita pitchers flowed like water. It was a mess. People (from a larger circle of friends) were in and out all night and as they left, they'd leave 20s on the table (presumably to cover a pitcher or two). No one split up anything based on how many margaritas they drank because the assumption is, everyone is drinking (a lot).

Husband doesn't drink to get loaded (that group did) and I wasn't drinking at all. I told him that we aren't getting stuck there at the end of the night when the bill invariably adds up to way beyond the stack of 20s left on the table (we'd BTDT) and the ones to close the place end up with more of their share. We were good friends with the person who would organize the invite, but many of the others were her friends/friends of friends, etc. I had NO interest in paying for anyone. Call me cheap, but I was a student. People weren't trying to be cheap or slick out on paying--they just tend to round down, maybe they left drunk, etc.

I told my husband that we are bringing 20 bucks (any less would look super cheap) and that's our part for the night. And, our debit card/credit card was not allowed to see the light of day. Absolutely no, "here, give us the cash and we'll put it on the credit card." BTDT, too, and always paid more than I should have.

We did leave 20. That's about a pitcher and no way did he drink a pitcher's worth (he's not really a non-beer person), but that's the cost of these sorts of social occasions, hanging out downtown, and with some people who had money (we were grad students). Those sort of social occasions were a pain and I tried to make us avoid them.

As for last night, I got a diet coke on the way in and tried to pay at the bar. When she didn't give me my credit card back (not a cash carrier here), I politely told her I wasn't running a tab (I HATE that idea anyway). She said I have to order a minimum of 15 dollars to use my card. I actually had to mooch money off of someone to pay. I felt so stupid and was really annoyed at the whole practice.

And, thanks, all. All of this is just a once a year (or less) type of thing. It's not that I even have to decline these invites. They just don't come my way (thankfully).