I was like a frog in a pot of warm water on the stove top. I never noticed how damn hot the water was getting. Yes, this "family disease of alcoholism is chronic and progressive.
My husband and I have been living apart for over a year. He's also been sober for much of that time frame. Alcohol is a symptom of the disease. Removing it can be a start of recovery, but it's not a solution.
We're working on ourselves... and through that our marriage is stronger.
There has been very little trauma for our children from us living separately. There is immense trauma we are all now healing from that we endured while living together. Emotional and psychological abuse, never knowing what is coming next, what words... What actions... stuffing emotions... pretending everything is okay for the moment... that is trauma. I'm still becoming aware of how damaging it was and how deep it goes.
Living apart gives us opportunities to bring our best to time together, and if any of us aren't up for that, it also gives the space to walk away. Walking away now has a new meaning... it simply means "I need space for myself." We've all needed that SO much more than we realized!