Step One, for me...
+ Admitted I was powerless over my addiction using (drinking, drugs)
+ Admitted (came to the realization) that my life was unmanageable.
Now that I am FREE from the addiction behavior controlling me thru working the Steps (what we really have is a daily reprieve based on the maintenance of our spiritual condition) I utilize Step One anytime I recognize 'unmanageability' or a situation or condition where I am experiencing unmanageability. Step 2, Step 3, Step 4, Step 5 help me get a perspective outside me 'being the ball' in the midst of the conflict. Then, thru applying Steps 6, 7, 8, 9 ... I am able to work thru a multitude of dynamics (there are always multiple dynamics involved). I can see if I am contributing to the conflict thru manipulation, coercion, disdain or hostility ... I can see the forces behind the scenes driving the other person, and recognize thru compassion and empathy what their perspective may be ... I can get a new perspective from the spiritual guidance of our Creator ... I can decide to NOT add to the sum total of any hostility or escalating bad feelings ... I can see new perspectives of how to communicate and possibly resolve ... and I can accept that maybe I can't 'fix' or 'solve' this completely right now ...
RDBplus3 ... The Steps REALLY WORK for me when I flexibly apply them to 'Practice These Principles In All My Affairs'