I don't dwell on the past. I do want to remember it though. Helps keep me sober. I do not ever want to be that old Wayne again. None of us are sane while drunk. It's a dark place that alcohol takes us. It's part of the disease.
Forgive yourself. You were sick. Stay sober and make amends. Then move on. Just don't drink again. Do not give alcoholism another chance at destroying you. That's the key.