Have you thought about or done AA? When you work the steps, you learn how to handle your past and how to live in the present, much more fully. Most things I did will not truly "go away" in my mind, but for the most part, after doing steps 4 and 5, and now that I "live in" 1, 10,11 & 12 every day, I am at peace with both past and present the vast majority of the time.
Working with my brilliant psych (who btw has a lot of expertise with DBT/CBT so her approach is definitely skill-gaining etc not just talk therapy) has been very important as well.