Try not to focus too much on the past and what you did when you were sick and using. Move full speed ahead on the future to who you know you can be. Let the past help you learn about what you want to avoid, but never punish yourself with it. I am pretty sure you've done enough suffering and received enough punishment for your antics whether it be lost relationships, jobs, etc.
Forgive yourself. You are evolving into the best version of yourself and that is pretty darn cool. Make peace with the past and then leave it there, only to reference for learning. It does no other good. Best of luck to you! Also, as someone who suffers from anxiety and depression (not addiction) it can make everything feel really awful. Are you getting treatment for that also?